I sat outside on the deck

Authored by: 
Jon Montgomery

Jon Montgomery

I sat outside on the deck,
Out by the candle.
I looked up in the sky,
But my eyes were closed.
I thought, “How cool would it be
To hear from my Lord.

I sat out with the candle
And looked up in the sky.
All I could do was hear the rain
And listen for my Lord.

As my body relaxed and
Slowed down my mind,
As all the worries of the day
And the concerns of life
Started to fade away;
I sat out with the candle
And listened for my Lord.

As my body went quiet,
Then my brain,
I heard a slight voice.
“You are making the right move.”

I was concerned
over decisions in life
And God knew my soul.
He knew what was ailing me.
He knew my stress.

He picked up my pain
And said, “You are making the right move.”
I stopped to hear
But could not believe.
”Is that you, my Lord.”

And then I heard it.
I heard His voice
“Yes, it is, my son.”
But I still did not believe.

I decided to take a chance.
My words were formed.
“Do you still love me?”
I ask with expectations of despair.

And without a moment, He said,
“I’ve always loved you,
From the beginning of time,
Even before.
I’ve loved you before you were born.

As the words flowed
With no effort from His mouth,
My eyes began to tear.
I could not believe it.

As I kept my mind in slow,
I again relaxed my eyes.
Tears were there but
They were supposed to be.
I was talking to my Lord.

“God, I’m so sorry for….”
But before I could finish
He shut my mouth,
“Look straight ahead.
I’ve forgiven you your wrongs,
before they were even committed.“

As the pictures came by in my head,
I thought I’d see the wrongs --
The sinning and the dirty deeds,
All the scum and filth.

But what I saw was the pain that came
To other people I’ve known.
The pain I caused
And how I treated them.
That was the sin that God saw
He wanted me to know.

He was saying, “Keep moving,
You’re doing fine.
You’re learning and growing
And making changes to be better.
For you and those around you.
You’re learning how to be yourself
And love who you were created.”

The rain poured down,
The wind kept moving.
I was talking to my Lord.

“Am I on the right track, Lord?”
I asked with much hesitation.
Very slowly, with deliberate beat,
“You. Are. On. The. Right. Track,”
He said.

A moment passed.
And then another.
I let the words sink in.
“Can we visit for a while?” and
He replied, “We’ll be forever together.”