By Kristen O’Guin
When I asked Max Fathom ~ the main creator of Ecstatic Dance ~ what the original guidelines were, he said, “Eh, I never wrote them down, I don’t remember the exact things I said.” His lack of pretension brought a charming light-heartedness.
Max said of course there was no talking. And that Kalani didn’t want their floors getting scuffed up, so no shoes were allowed…but that was better for dancing anyway so no one’s toes accidentally got stepped on by a shoe. He said no photography was allowed, although we didn’t have cell phones back then. He also said Kalani had a policy of no drugs or alcohol on campus. That was also good for the dance because it helped people get high naturally and not hide behind intoxicants.
Elizabeth Betwixt, Max’s co-pilot, did end up writing some guidelines down. They were not exactly the original guidelines, but they were similar, and what we went by for some time in the later days of the early years.
I asked a few other old-school dancers at Kalani Ecstatic Dance what they remember as the original guidelines, and they all gave me somewhat different answers, though there were definitely some commonalities.
We all remember knowing from early on, back in the day, that the guidelines included no talking and no photography. We all remember that we weren’t allowed to wear shoes.
One of the guidelines Elizabeth created was, “Make a contribution.” In the beginning years the dance was by donation only, so it was often noted that if you could not contribute financially, it was great if you could contribute in other ways. Over time, the stewards did decide to require an entry fee to make it more sustainable.One of my favorite guidelines from the earlier years is the 5th guideline. Max said he did not say this originally, and it’s a piece that Elizabeth brought in. But the wording I remember was, “We balance the needs of the individual with the needs of the group.” A wise and sensible sentiment.
While there is no talking allowed, you don’t have to be silent. Non-verbal sounds are ok!
Why do we have guidelines?
One might wonder, “Why do we have guidelines in the first place?”
Well, it’s to help create a container in which ecstasy and other states of being can arise. We’re creating a container in which emotions ~ from bliss to despair, from grief to joy, and everything in between ~ can have space to come up and out. We’re creating a container where deep healing can happen.
We are getting things from the dance that we are not getting in our everyday lives. We hear over and over again, and feel it ourselves, how healing and transformative this dance practice is. In our everyday lives, people may not have the time and space to process trauma the way people do a lot at the dance.
There’s also a ton of research on trauma nowadays that points to how the body holds trauma and unprocessed emotion, and a couple hours of dancing in the right container can supplement, or even work better than, talk therapy.
But of course trauma is only one of the many things that can arise. If the container is tight, all sorts of states of being can arise, including ecstasy.
While this particular dance ritual is relatively new, humans have been using dance to reach ecstatic states perhaps as long as humans have been around. Unfortunately, people nowadays don’t necessarily have the mindset or the tools to create experiences for themselves that lead to ecstasy. This state of being has been lost somewhat with the modern lifestyle.
We don’t know pre-historically how far back it goes, but perhaps you’ve heard of the cults of Dionysus in ancient Greece, with their wine and frenzied dancing. Or maybe you’ve seen the whirling dervishes spinning in their long flowing garments and tall hats.
The Whirling Dervishes are part of the mystical Sufi branch of Islam.
Indigenous peoples all over the world have used ritualistic dance like this. Even my ancestors, the indigenous people of what’s now called Ireland, had ritualistic dances that served various purposes, including reaching altered states of consciousness.
As I mentioned, profound states and emotional or energetic processes reached during Ecstatic Dance come in great part from having the proper space to be in an altered state of consciousness. And the guidelines help us to alter our consciousness without intoxicants.
For example, there’s something almost all humans do every day, sometimes all day throughout the day, and that is talking. We talk with our mouths, we talk with our keyboards, sometimes from morning ‘til night day after day.
“No talking” does not mean “silence.” Hoots, hollers, laughs, cries, wails, toning, and other non-verbal sounds are welcome.
But when we intentionally refrain from talking, it allows our consciousness to do something different than what we do all the time. We’re better able to get out of the head and into the body, we’re not using talking as a distraction from the feelings and awareness that can come from silence, we’re being intentional about the energy we put out, etc.
And speaking of altering our consciousness, we do this at the dance without intoxicants.
This is another guideline which I notice helps to liberate people. How many times have you been out with friends and someone said, “Let’s go dance!” and someone else said, “Lemme just have another drink first.” I’m not saying there’s necessarily anything wrong with this, especially because men in some of our modern cultures can face much scrutiny simply for dancing.
But having a guideline of not taking substances to alter ourselves helps people tap into their own body’s ability to alter itself. And of course it helps with matters of consent, which is extremely important on the dance floor.
Our yarn station helps people nonverbally communicate their preferences on the dance floor.
What are the guidelines?
The guidelines nowadays vary somewhat from dance to dance, but there are guidelines I see again and again at most of the dances, including at our Kalani Ecstatic Dance. They are ~
- No talking
- No pictures or video
- Be barefoot (unless there’s a medical reason)
- Get non-verbal consent before dancing with someone
- Tell someone no non-verbally if you don’t want to dance with them
- No partaking of substances inside or outside
At our dance we also have a guideline about grabbing one of the towels available and wiping up any sweat that might get on the dance floor. Yes, go ahead and sweat your prayers! But also, if there’s a little puddle of your prayers on the floor beneath you, be sure to wipe it up.
We also don’t allow smoke or scents in the space, and we ask that children are well supervised.
Dance like no camera is watching
One guideline which our dancers feel is very important, that I have realized many dances do not honor today, is the guideline about no photography. Nowadays this also means no videography, as when E Dance started, no one had cell phones.
I personally feel kinda sad that some Ecstatic Dances are not into this guideline. Maybe they’ve never even heard of it. But I think a lot of people want to take pictures to be able to promote the dance. Still, I wish people were not sacrificing the sacredness of the space for event promotion.
I don’t know much about quantum mechanics. And the more I learn, the more I know I don’t know.
But one thing that fascinates me is what quantum physicists call wave-particle duality. This refers to how eeny weeny tiny little bits of light such as photons can act either as a particle or as a wave. Light is both a wave and a particle.
So what determines whether light will act as a wave or a particle?
Whether or not it’s being observed.
I’m sure it can be quite enticing to capture these super beautiful moments of people dancing in these raw and depthful states at the dance. I’m sure it helps with promotion.
But most people act differently when there’s a camera on them. We want to support people in letting their body move exactly how it authentically wants to, and not interrupt that with people suddenly caring about if their hair looks good, or if their moves look good. We ourselves are made up of these quantum particles that behave differently whether or not they are being observed.
I’ve also heard many women say they feel free to twerk or dance sexy at Ecstatic Dance, and that’s the only place they dance like that, because it’s not (supposed to be) about being watched or recorded, and they know it won’t end up on Instagram.
People also get super vulnerable at the dance, and might be, for example, laying on the floor bawling. Many dancers don’t want to have to worry that someone might be recording those very intimate moments.When I occasionally see videos online of women dancing sexy at E Dance, I wonder if the women are always okay with that. Obviously we’re going to see each other dancing, and even that can have a little effect at times. But it’s not the same as putting a lens on someone.
Boundaries can help us go farther.
A friend told me a story about some children and a playground. The playground sat in the middle of this wide open field, and the children loved the playground and would play there every day. But even though it was in a wide open field, they would always play right around the playground and never really ventured out into the field.
One day, a fence was put up around the perimeter of the field. When the children arrived and saw the fence, they ran across the field in all directions to check it out. That was the first day that the children realized how big their playground actually was. And from that day on, they played all over the field.
This is what the guidelines do for the dance. Having parameters can actually help us be more expansive than if we didn’t have the parameters.
The guidelines, along with the music and the ritualistic aspects of the dance, can help us go deeper and farther in the dance because they create a juicy container that is ripe for such journeys.
These children grew up in our Ecstatic Dance community, and some of them are E Dancers now as adults.
